So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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