Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
