He uses pillows to masturbate.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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