why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
