70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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