is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
