apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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