God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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