I'm eating all of the evidence.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
