I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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