did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
