Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.