DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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