Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
