Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
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it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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