i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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