Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
