Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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