Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
