i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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