i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
