How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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