he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Acid is not a monday night drug
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
