All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize