Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
