Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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