I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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