One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
