i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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