I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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