brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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