im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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