I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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