You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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