no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
