dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
