i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
