If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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