Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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