you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize