remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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