Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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