he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
