I need help removing her.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
