She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
