Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
