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You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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