capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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