I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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