Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
