Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
