you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
