I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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