Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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