Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
