Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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