Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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