Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
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Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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