He is such a slut. More and more my type.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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