so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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