well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
